Today Everett and Chris made a shark. Actually, Chris started making the shark a long time ago for one of his cousins, but then it went into the pile of unfinished projects in need of some final motivation. Everett was recently introduced to the sewing machine and yesterday he asked if he could help sew something, which provided the activation energy needed to finish the shark. We sewed up the sides, sewed on the tail and stuffed in all the batting we could find in the house. Lastly Chris sewed on the eyes and teeth by hand while Everett helped by climbing on Chris’ back and draping scrap pieces of fabric over his head.

The shark is currently in need of a name. Suggestions?

We have spent almost 4 years with Everett, and in that time we have noticed that he does not make idle comments. If he says something that sounds implausible, for example that he saw a zebra on the way home from school, then in some way shape or form there was indeed a zebra on the way home and it is up to us to figure out how. Similarly, he does not make random requests to see the doctor, and as a result we take him pretty seriously when he does. Last night he awoke with a bad cough, then started wheezing and choking. It was terrifying to watch. Equally concerning was that he said he wanted to go to the hospital. However, we have been through this once before with him and learned what croup sounds like (a barking seal) and that cool air often causes it so subside. It was cold outside, which we thought might help with breathing, but it was also raining so we put him in the car with the doors open and wrapped him in blankets. After a while his breathing improved and we brought him back in to sit in a steam bath. Soon everyone settled down, went back to bed and slept through the rest of the night. The fact that we stayed calm and did not feel the need to take him to the ER might mean that we have graduated from rookie to novice parents. The first time this happened a couple years ago we took him to the ER in the middle of the night, but as a result of the cold night air he was fine by the time we arrived.

On many occasions we have tried explaining to Everett that when he is sick he needs to blow his nose rather than sniffle, and that the latter is making his cough worse. We remind him that Noni gave him chocolate once for blowing his nose and that he might receive similar rewards in the future. He replies by reminding us about the time upstairs in our bed at night when he complied and that he doesn’t need to do so again. It appears that no amount of parental encouragement is going to help here. Once again we will probably need the assistance of other authority figures such as grandparents and teachers. More likely we will just have to wait until he has proven to himself the best course of action, a trait he might have inherited from his parents.

Everett seems to have acquired food tastes from both Chris and Melissa. Like Chris, he loves sweets in almost any form (ice cream, candy, cookies, cake, cupcakes, etc) and always has room for them even when he claims to be full. And even after dessert there is always room for chocolate! He also loves savory snacks like olives and capers, which Melissa prefers over sweets. As a parent it is somewhat puzzling how Everett has grown as much as he has based on watching his eating habits. Left to his own preferences, I think that most of his meals would consist of about 5 capers and 10 salt crystals, and I’m talking about tiny grains of table salt, not even the large salt crystals that come from the south of France. He has never been a child with much of an appetite, which is compounded by the fact that his curiosity seems to overpower his need for food or sleep.

Everett has also taken a lot of interest in capers of a different type. We have had many adventures on the Bakfiets during which Chris pedals and Everett points which direction to take. During a bike ride yesterday we found a new trail under a bridge near our house, then stopped for a while to determine if the clouds were moving and whether we could jump high enough to catch them. His imagination has grown dramatically over the last year. In addition to his family and friends he is also surrounded by a cast of characters with different personalities, some embodied in stuffed animals and some exist in the form of the many movie quotes that he has memorized and acts out. Popular recent examples are from Rango and Tangled. Here is a rendition from the latter.

Immediately after Melissa’s dissertation defense the family dispersed. Chris flew to Germany, Everett went with Gabby and Grandaddy to Cincinnati and Melissa stayed in Cleveland to finish her dissertation edits before the deadline to graduate. Fortunately, she had few edits and some of her committee members were still on town, so she finished everything in about a week! Then she drove to Chicago to pick Chris up at O’Hare. Chris had to teach one class on Thursday and a double-header on Friday (due to a missed class on Wednesday). Then we were off on a beach vacation for a week starting on Saturday. Photos of the trip are here.

Fittingly, the first thing we did when leaving for vacation was completely lose track of time. Our flight was at 5:40am on Saturday, so we both set our iPhone alarms for 3:40am. Curiously, Chris’ alarm went off at 3:40am as planned, but Melissa’s phone still read 2:40am. So we checked with two atomic clocks and determined that it was indeed 2:40am and we had another hour to sleep. Our vacation was on an island which we think is on eastern time (though not 100% sure). On top of that, Chris’ sense of time is already wonky due to international travel, and the resort we are visiting often has its own time which is different from local time. Lastly, our phones have persisted in the habit of changing time by an hour in each direction, then reverting back when they are unlocked. So we were really only able to estimate time to within a couple hours.

The family was reunited in the Charlotte, North Carolina airport and then we flew to Punta Cana in first class as a result of some sequence of events that we haven’t yet figured out. Went through customs and passport control in an hour or two. Each of us paid $10 for a visa in the form of a receipt which we held until moving about 10 feet further in line when we relinquished it to another official. It seems that not all countries share our American obsession with efficiency. Tensions were a bit high by the time we got to the resort but we decompressed for a while and then had a great dinner.

Day 1

Awoke about 8am and had family breakfast in the outdoor restaurant. We spent the morning at the pool and managed to commit the rookie mistake of getting sunburned the first day despite repeatedly applying SPF 50 lotion. Napped through the heat of the day and then spent some time on the beach in the late afternoon sun. Met for drinks at around 6pm, as which time Amanda told us that the front desk had called and asked us to move to different rooms. Responses to this news were mixed, and a couple people were just starting to get their feathers ruffled when she said “April fools!”. Good one! Went to dinner and then to see Crazy Signs and the circus show in the theater. Everett made it until about 10:30pm before finally admitting “Momma, I’m tired”, so we took him back and he and Trinity had a slumber party with Gabby and Grandaddy that night.

Day 2

Getting relaxed and into a routine of sorts. Got up at 8am and went to breakfast, then straight to the beach for some water, sand castles and family kayaking. Everett seems remarkably relaxed in the boat.

This trip was a generous gift from Gabby and Grandaddy, who wanted to have a beach vacation with all three generations. We are here with Matt, Katy and Trinity. There is so little to think about here it is remarkable. Seemingly the only decisions we have to make are when to eat. Virtually every need is effortlessly (on our part) taken care of. We are dimly aware of the army of people that must be necessary to provide such service.

After dinner we went to the theatre for the kids show and Crazy Signs. Everett was brave enough to go onstage by himself with all the other children, and was doing his best to learn the dance moves. He seemed to love it, which is not a surprise considering that he dances in our driveway at home to the sounds of the birds singing. Afterwards, in the midst of running around the theatre, he wiped out and hit his head on the concrete pretty hard. No blood, but we did put some ice on it (remarkably hard to find at a French resort) and he decided he had had enough dancing and music for one night. We took him home and put him to bed in Gabby and Grandaddy’s room.

Day 3

Everett and Trinity were both at Camp Gramapa last night, so the adults had a chance to sleep in, yet we still got up at 8am :). Breakfast and then off to the beach and later the pool. One thing Everett never seems to get enough of is water time – no matter how long Chris swims with him there is always an argument when it’s time to get out.

Everett is just as inquisitive as ever. Today he asked “Do ants have lips?” And in case I forget to mention it otherwise, a few weeks ago he asked if it rains in outer space. At the beach there is an endless supply of material for an inquisitive mind: so far we have found three species of crabs, many sea urchins, a few fish, a sting ray that Matt spotted in the water, and many different types of seaweed. We found a free cabana and kept it occupied for most of the day. For Melissa and Chris this provided some much-needed relief from the midday sun, and for everyone else it provided a good place to nap.

Days 4-7

I was going to provide a day by day chronicle of what we were up to, but I soon lost track of the days and in any case our routine never changed much. Everett would wake up between 7:30 and 8am, and even on the nights when he slept in Gabby and Grandaddy’s room we didn’t sleep any later. Breakfast, then go the beach for a couple hours. Lunch and drinks on the beach followed by nap through the heat of the day (though we note that it didn’t yet seem hot enough to turn on the air conditioning in the restaurant). Everett has been taking especially long naps here, so we would usually get back out the door to the beach or pool between 4 and 5pm. After that we returned to the room to shower, then met at the main bar for drinks. Then dinner, followed by the childrens’ show and dance party. Then Everett went to bed and the adults either followed him or went back out for drinks and dancing. Most days Trinity has been in the kids camp while Everett spends time with Mom, Dad, Gabby or Grandaddy. This has worked out great, and no one seems to feel like they are missing anything. Today Everett said he wanted to sign up for some activities, so we may try that tomorrow if there is room.

Wrap up: Here are some thoughts and observations from the last 7 days.

We were initially worried that Everett would stop napping during this trip, though this perhaps isn’t the best way to put it. Melissa was worred that he would stop napping and that, because she is finished with her dissertation and will be watching E most days, she would lose her midday break. However, the opposite has happened. There is so much to do here that Everett rarely goes to bed anywhere near his normal bedtime. And since he discovered Crazy Signs at around 9pm each night he wants to stay up at least long enough for dancing. On Wednesday night the older children put on a dance show and as a result they skipped Crazy Signs for the kids. The next day he was pretty concerned about this. “There was no dance party last night”. We’ll try again tonight (Thursday). Anyway, the result of all of this is that his naps have gotten longer rather than shorter. He now sleeps for two or three hours during the heat of the day.

As with other trips overseas we had a remarkably difficult time getting cups of milk for Everett. We tried ordering in several different languages, but somehow that didn’t solve the problem either: when we got milk it was often served steaming hot. It reminded us of the time in Switzerland when we tried to order Everett a cup of milk using English, French, German and Italian, after which they served him iced tea. Anyway, the milk problem on this trip was solved after Chris figured out where they kept it.

Club Med has somehow resisted enacting rules the way we do in America. We encountered almost no rules and few guidelines while we were there. The only rule I recall is that children had to be six years old to go out in a kayak, but even this wasn’t strictly enforced. On the first day they allowed it, but after that the water was rougher so they asked us to just push the boat around in the shallows. In contrast to many places in America, the resort is not plastered with signs that provide little more than common sense information.

Everett loves stories. He loves hearing them and telling them. He especially seems to enjoy stories that have some kind of surprising element, or are about him when he was a baby. On this trip we encountered a lizard who zoomed away when we tried to pet it, and we also told (and retold) the story about Everett crawling onto Dad’s chest and removing his sunglasses while he napped on the beach in the Cayman Islands.

Animals: We saw lots of sea urchins and several species of crabs. We also saw spiny lobsters when they appeared on our dinner plates. On the last morning we were kayaking when Everett and Trinity spotted a live conch. We also saw a couple schools of fish swimming around us in the shallows. Matt and Katy saw a sting ray. There were several species of sea birds including one that looked like a small pterodactyl. Lastly, there was some species of mud sparrows or bats or both that nested in the edges of the thatch rooves. We found several lizards in the bushes near our room, some brown and some green, which were amazingly fast and able to jump long distances. There were several species of palms, several of which produced small fruits that Everett collected and put in a cup of water to watch during the week. He was performing an experiment to see if they would grow into palm trees.

Summary: The week at Club Med was exceptional and we are all thankful to have had the time together.

Everett has been with Gabby and Grandaddy at their house since the day after Melissa’s defense. During the trip, Grandaddy bought Everett a fishing pole and took him fishing in the nearby lake. Apparently he caught 8 fish the first day and 7 the next day! In this photo he looks a little circumspect. No doubt the size and weight of this fish will grow in time as he retells the tale.

A few years ago Melissa took Chris to a Michigan football game in the Big House. While we were at the game Chris noticed a couple of fans holding a giant D and a fence, like this:

And he asked “Why are they holding a D and a fence?” Fast forward a few years and we are now tackling much more serious matters. Melissa’s dissertation defense was on Tuesday, March 20 at 10am. She prepared very hard for this day and it showed – she was calm and in control throughout the whole presentation. Not surprisingly to those who know her well, she passed! Here are some before and after photos. Also included is a short video of Everett practicing The Force on Grandaddy’s new car (also know as The Movie Car), which entails singing the Imperial March while making large arm gestures to get the door to open.

During the visit to Cleveland we stayed at the Alcazar, a.k.a. the Alcatraz, Al Jazeera, Al Jarreau, etc. The weather was freakishly warm for March, so much so that they had to put air conditioners in our rooms. After Melissa’s defense we went to Yours Truly on Shaker Square for lunch, then relaxed in the afternoon, and finished the day with a dinner celebration at Patty’s house.

Congratulations Dr. Butson!!!

This month is a time of transitions. First, the weather is changing rapidly. The mild winter we just experienced is being followed by an early spring. Today is March 17 and the temperature outside in the 70s. The chipmunks have suddenly come out of hibernation. The zoo train is running again, which we know because we can hear the distinctive whistle of the small-gauge steam engine even though it is two miles away. The train whistle tells us several things: obviously, the train is running; since it is running we can reasonably infer that the weather is nice and that there are a lot of zoogoers.

Yesterday Everett graduated from his first school. We have been sending him there for the last couple years (to be honest we can’t remember exactly when he started). We initially thought it was daycare, and after a while we started having discussions about whether we should send him to preschool. One day soon after this conversation we received a call that we needed to come in for parent-teacher meetings to discuss his progress on educational objectives. So it turned out he was in preschool all along. Problem solved, and one less decision for us to make! Anyway, his school has been a great experience for all of us. During his time there Everett grew developmentally from an infant to the point where he has some favorite school friends, especially George and Kelly. It has also been great for Chris and Melissa to have some other authority figures in his life. On his last day his teachers made a card for him:

His last day of school is coming on the cusp of a lot of other transitions as well. Melissa is defending her dissertation on Tuesday, and soon after that is a family beach vacation. Melissa and Chris have gone to great efforts to arrange lots of work time and to coordinate child care. In the midst of all of this Melissa said to Chris “You are a lifesaver”, to which Everett replied “Why did you call Daddy a light saber?”. So it seems like the recent Star Wars exposure and Jedi training are having the desired effect.

Many of our readers probably remember Freddie the Frog, who came to stay with us for a weekend about a year ago. Freddie has now retired after receiving “too much love” (in the words of Everett’s teacher) and Franklin has taken his place. Franklin came home with us on the bike last Friday and has been a constant companion since then. Saturday morning he watched Olivia and then went with us on a bike adventure to the Zoo, where we rode the train and saw a few animals, then lunch and the hippo playground. On Sunday morning we went for another ride to pickup photo prints of Everett and Franklin’s adventures so that we would write in the travel journal before we return to preschool on Monday morning. Here are some samples.

Everett has many stuffed animals. Each of them, including Franklin, gives us a better understanding of his inner world as he describes their experiences. Franklin is clearly a guest and gets treated to the best that our family has to offer. Other animals like duck, pig, lamb and chick are permanent residents who are in more of a long-term relationship, like younger siblings. For example, Everett takes them out of the living room during scary movie scenes. It is worth noting that “scary” is his word, not mine, and the threshold for what constitutes scariness could be as subtle as a change in tone of the background music during the Planet Earth documentary. Everett tells us about their individual likes and dislikes, as well as their daily experiences. A few days after we showed him Jupiter in the night sky he started building spaceships so that his animals could fly to it. It is up to us to guess which experiences are his, which are new ideas he is testing to see how they fit, and which are his imagination. The last of these seems to be the category that is growing most rapidly.

As of today Melissa and Chris have been married six years. It has been a fantastic adventure, full of twists and turns that neither of us anticipated. As it turns out, our six year anniversary will certainly be memorable but not necessarily something we want to repeat. Melissa’s dissertation must be delivered to her committee today. She has been working day and night for months to prepare for this and the latest forecast was that she would submit this morning. However, that prediction didn’t take into account the fact that Microsoft Word is good for small documents like recipes but not so great at managing long documents. The pagination and reference management necessary for a dissertation were too much for Word to handle, and after several hours of struggling with pagination followed by about 12 hours of wrangling references Melissa had to start with a clean document and redo everything. I could provide all the references here to bring our readers up to date but I’m not going to because, let’s be honest, you and I are unlikely to read these papers and even if we did she is the expert on this material so why not just ask her? That’s what we’ll do. Current estimated time of completion is 10:30pm. Viva La Indoctrination!

Yesterday Everett informed us: “You are not following the law of Me!” This leads to a train of thoughts that are probably familiar to most parents. First, you don’t make the laws. Second, it’s been a long day and I’m tired and we already have enough chiefs in the house as it is, thank you, so please see point #1. The second point warrants further comment because things are a bit unusual right now. Chris has an incredible amount of work at the moment, and Melissa has literally been working day and night for weeks on her dissertation. The current schedule is for her to submit this weekend and defend in the next two weeks. Today Cress and Amanda sent us an anniversary gift, along with some special food treats from Cincinnati (Montgomery Ribs and Graeter’s Ice Cream!). In the package was a tiny scrap of paper which succinctly summarizes our situation:

Through all of this Everett has been a trooper. He understand that Mom is working on her dissertation, and that once she is done she will be a doctor. He has also been told that once the dissertation is done he will no longer have to go to preschool five days a week, at least for the foreseeable future. We think he has interpreted this to mean that he will never have to go to school again, which will give us an opportunity to explain to him another meaning of the word law.